Eight billion people on the planet, and this one orders the house dressing, parks halfway down the lot and keeps the default ringtone. No hidden talent, no signature dish, no fun fact ready for the icebreaker. The personality quiz returned the most common result, and the barista gets the name right on the first try. A sarcastic shirt for the self-aware and proudly average, filed under ordinary and fine with it. Strangers still pick this face out of a crowd to ask for directions.

THE FINE PRINT

STANDARD across the top and ISSUE huge beneath it in outlined varsity letters, then a ribbon banner with 1 OF ~8,000,000,000 cut out of it, and UNREMARKABLE across the bottom in the same outlined letters. One white ink, heavily cracked and speckled with wear.