The elevator small talk reached mortality by the fourth floor. Also on the record: the toast that mentioned the ex, and the handshake that turned into a hug halfway through. Coworkers read the shirt, look up, and nod slowly. Nobody asks what it means. They ask which time. Worn by the introvert who says nothing for forty minutes, then says the one thing, then explains it all the way to the car. The platypus has been doing this to rooms since 1799, when the naturalist who first described one took scissors to the skin looking for stitches. The hug ran four seconds long.

THE FINE PRINT

A baby platypus in black and amber fur lounges on its side, belly out, eyes on the viewer. One front foot rests on its belly, one hind foot is up, webbing fanned, and the other two stay planted. Above, i came i saw tilts uphill; below, i made it weird runs straight across, in the same distressed amber lowercase.