It started as a quick one about a cousin's wedding. Forty minutes later there is a second cousin, a dispute over a seating chart, a detour through a 2009 fantasy football league, and a promise that the good part is coming. The wearer has not interrupted once. The coffee went cold, then grew something. The polite face is holding. The polite face has been holding since the appetizers. This is for the listener who always gets the long version, agrees with every turn of it, and has a lunch break ending in six minutes. Story status: ongoing. Way out: none.

THE FINE PRINT

no please arched over a vintage engraving of a skeleton at a small round cafe table, skull resting in one hand, the other hand wrapped around a brown mug. Cobwebs run from the mug's rim to the tabletop. A bentwood chair behind. finish your story across the bottom in rough hand-drawn letters.