The review from the back seat came in unanimous: two eye-rolls, one groan and a request to turn the radio up. Dad has read the panel's findings and rejects them in full. This is the same panel that laughed for six straight minutes at a dog sliding off a couch, so its standards are on the record. He has answered every 'I'm hungry' with 'Hi hungry, I'm Dad' since 2019 and is not stopping now. A funny dad shirt and a Father's Day gag gift from the kids, who will deny it was their idea. Somebody at that table snorted once. It counts.

THE FINE PRINT

MY KIDS THINK arches across the top in collegiate slab capitals, I’M NOT FUNNY runs straight between two double bars, MY KIDS ARE sits between two stars, and WRONG takes the bottom in the biggest letters on the print. One black ink, heavily distressed so the shirt shows through every letter, bar and star.