I am fine. I said so twice, which should settle it. My concerns arrive as a sticky note on the office fridge that reads 'Some of us wash our mugs,' or as 'Just circling back,' with your manager cc'd and the original message quoted in full. The pan in the sink has been soaking for four days, on purpose. Every dose is measured: one sigh loud enough to reach the hallway, one 'Wow, okay,' one thumbs-up that means the exact opposite. Side effects include a very quiet kitchen and a one-letter reply. A funny passive aggressive shirt for anyone who would never say it to your face. Keep out of reach of the group chat.

THE FINE PRINT

ACTIVE INGREDIENT: is knocked out of a solid red bar, so its letters and colon are open to the shirt. Below it, PASSIVE and AGGRESSION in tall condensed white capitals, each word stretched to the width of the bar. A fine cracked-paint distress runs over all of it. Two inks, white and red.