The calendar invite said 'light refreshments.' I skipped breakfast on the strength of it and got to Conference Room B four minutes early. There was a pitcher of water and a sleeve of paper cups. Nobody has admitted to typing 'light refreshments,' and nobody has to. A raccoon would have left. I stayed for all 47 minutes, watching the door for a tray that was not coming, and on the way out I took two paper cups, slowly, while the organizer watched me do it.

THE FINE PRINT

A photoreal raccoon, head and shoulders, stares straight out from under a heavy brow, whiskers fanned, its face lit against black. "I was told" runs across the top in heavy tan block letters. "there would be" stacks down the left in thin brush script. "snacks", the biggest word, fills the bottom right. Nothing else is in the picture.