{"product_id":"leave-me-alone-please-hesitate-contact-tee","title":"Please Hesitate to Contact Me - Leave Me Alone Shirt","description":"\u003cp\u003eEvery email I sent for six years ended with the same open invitation, and people took it literally. Forty-one unread. Three flagged urgent by the sender. One from Gary asking if I saw his last one, sent four minutes after his last one. I have read all of them and plan to answer in the order they annoyed me, starting Thursday. The Quick Sync on my calendar runs ninety minutes with no agenda, so the camera stays off and the coffee goes cold. A funny office shirt for the coworker whose reply time is measured in fiscal quarters. Current status: away, with the green dot switched off by hand.\u003c\/p\u003e\u003ch5\u003eTHE FINE PRINT\u003c\/h5\u003e\u003cp\u003ePLEASE HESITATE over TO CONTACT ME in two centered rows of bold slab-serif typewriter capitals, both rows the same size. One ink, distressed with small specks and nicks through every letter. No punctuation, no border, nothing else.\u003c\/p\u003e","brand":"WitMonger","offers":[{"title":"Black \/ S","offer_id":68181716074681,"sku":"31530780261447223755","price":29.99,"currency_code":"USD","in_stock":true},{"title":"Black \/ M","offer_id":68181716107449,"sku":"83283951409986548762","price":29.99,"currency_code":"USD","in_stock":true},{"title":"Black \/ L","offer_id":68181716140217,"sku":"31750820165917217529","price":29.99,"currency_code":"USD","in_stock":true},{"title":"Black \/ XL","offer_id":68181716172985,"sku":"67044086042022726590","price":29.99,"currency_code":"USD","in_stock":true},{"title":"Black \/ 2XL","offer_id":68181716205753,"sku":"15462406521270339473","price":32.99,"currency_code":"USD","in_stock":true},{"title":"Black \/ 3XL","offer_id":68181716238521,"sku":"24255924260300522819","price":32.99,"currency_code":"USD","in_stock":true}],"thumbnail_url":"\/\/cdn.shopify.com\/s\/files\/1\/0798\/0010\/7193\/files\/BanterWear__please-hesitate-to-contact-me__Black__01-ghost-front.jpg?v=1793964693","url":"https:\/\/witmonger.com\/products\/leave-me-alone-please-hesitate-contact-tee","provider":"WitMonger","version":"1.0","type":"link"}