{"product_id":"cryptid-neighborhood-tee","title":"Neighborhood Cryptid - Introvert Shirt","description":"\u003cp\u003eSix years on this street, and two neighbors could pick me out of a lineup, both from Tuesday nights. The bin goes out at 9:58, at a steady pace that says nothing is wrong. Somebody's doorbell camera caught it once. The clip is blurry, and it went around the block's group chat with three question marks. I wave from behind the blinds. Packages come in after dark. On Halloween the porch light stays off and a bowl of king-size candy bars sits on the step, which only made the rumors worse. A funny cryptid shirt for the antisocial homebody who counts the trash run as a public appearance. Sightings remain unconfirmed. The recycling is the only proof anyone lives here.\u003c\/p\u003e\u003ch5\u003eTHE FINE PRINT\u003c\/h5\u003e\u003cp\u003eNEIGHBORHOOD arches over the top and CRYPTID runs straight along the bottom in rounded dark brown capitals with a thin inline. Between them a shaggy brown cryptid in a golden-yellow bathrobe and slippers strides to the right, a knotted garbage bag in one hand, glancing back over its shoulder. Three small golden-yellow stars sit in the open space around it.\u003c\/p\u003e","brand":"WitMonger - Printed \u0026 Shipped From USA","offers":[{"title":"Natural \/ S","offer_id":68150856581305,"sku":"33402221257385411789","price":29.99,"currency_code":"USD","in_stock":true},{"title":"Natural \/ M","offer_id":68150856614073,"sku":"13640329127020267890","price":29.99,"currency_code":"USD","in_stock":true},{"title":"Natural \/ L","offer_id":68150856646841,"sku":"14022584588405887786","price":29.99,"currency_code":"USD","in_stock":true},{"title":"Natural \/ XL","offer_id":68150856679609,"sku":"16449178516033060048","price":29.99,"currency_code":"USD","in_stock":true},{"title":"Natural \/ 2XL","offer_id":68150856712377,"sku":"23631073972656760565","price":32.99,"currency_code":"USD","in_stock":true},{"title":"Natural \/ 3XL","offer_id":68150856745145,"sku":"16852070762807561818","price":32.99,"currency_code":"USD","in_stock":true}],"thumbnail_url":"\/\/cdn.shopify.com\/s\/files\/1\/0798\/0010\/7193\/files\/BanterWear__neighborhood-cryptid__Natural__01-ghost-front.jpg?v=1793813295","url":"https:\/\/witmonger.com\/products\/cryptid-neighborhood-tee","provider":"WitMonger","version":"1.0","type":"link"}