{"product_id":"antisocial-security-go-away-tee","title":"Antisocial Security Go Away - Leave Me Alone Shirt","description":"\u003cp\u003eForty years of paying in: office birthday cake, a group chat with 31 unread, a coworker's destination wedding and every 'we should grab coffee' that somehow became a real calendar invite. The benefit has finally vested. It pays out in canceled plans, a phone on silent and a doorbell nobody answers after 6 p.m. Eligibility is simple: enough small talk for one lifetime, and a firm preference for spending the rest of it in a quiet room. A funny antisocial shirt for anyone who now declines invitations before they are sent. Benefits are paid monthly, in silence.\u003c\/p\u003e\u003ch5\u003eTHE FINE PRINT\u003c\/h5\u003e\u003cp\u003eA round seal in one navy ink, edged with a twisted rope border. ANTISOCIAL arches across the top and SECURITY curves along the bottom. In the center a spread-wing eagle grips the top of a shield, and GO AWAY is stacked on the shield in knocked-out capitals. Distressed all over.\u003c\/p\u003e","brand":"WitMonger","offers":[{"title":"Natural \/ S","offer_id":68186686030009,"sku":"23679214467379064676","price":29.99,"currency_code":"USD","in_stock":true},{"title":"Natural \/ M","offer_id":68186686062777,"sku":"31047019604948344748","price":29.99,"currency_code":"USD","in_stock":true},{"title":"Natural \/ L","offer_id":68186686095545,"sku":"14009321857252056319","price":29.99,"currency_code":"USD","in_stock":true},{"title":"Natural \/ XL","offer_id":68186686128313,"sku":"26928185009227339009","price":29.99,"currency_code":"USD","in_stock":true},{"title":"Natural \/ 2XL","offer_id":68186686161081,"sku":"19379021411064443982","price":32.99,"currency_code":"USD","in_stock":true},{"title":"Natural \/ 3XL","offer_id":68186686193849,"sku":"16397246144523875737","price":32.99,"currency_code":"USD","in_stock":true}],"thumbnail_url":"\/\/cdn.shopify.com\/s\/files\/1\/0798\/0010\/7193\/files\/BanterWear__antisocial-security__Natural__01-ghost-front.jpg?v=1793997919","url":"https:\/\/witmonger.com\/products\/antisocial-security-go-away-tee","provider":"WitMonger","version":"1.0","type":"link"}