{"title":"Repeat Offender","description":null,"products":[{"product_id":"funny-raccoon-t-shirt-one-mans-trash-is-my-entire-personality","title":"One Man's Trash is My Entire Personality - Funny Trash Panda Raccoon T Shirt - Repeat Offender","description":"\u003cp\u003eSomeone threw out a perfectly good milkshake and most of the fries, so I got in after them and have been in here ever since. I am aware of the drool.\u003c\/p\u003e\u003cp\u003eOne Man's Trash is my entire personality. A funny raccoon shirt the trash panda buys for themselves. Also a gift from the friend who was there and held the fries.\u003c\/p\u003e\u003ch5\u003eTHE FINE PRINT\u003c\/h5\u003e\u003cp\u003eA raccoon sits inside an open trash can with a bundle of french fries in one paw and a discarded milkshake in the other, red-striped cup, domed lid. A drool strand from his chin breaks into drops. He does not look sorry. One Man's Trash above him, is my entire personality below, in sandy hand lettering.\u003c\/p\u003e","brand":"WitMonger - Printed \u0026 Shipped From USA","offers":[{"title":"Black \/ S","offer_id":67600775971001,"sku":"24512968617266093207","price":29.99,"currency_code":"USD","in_stock":true},{"title":"Black Heather \/ S","offer_id":67600776003769,"sku":"50413855362383676980","price":29.99,"currency_code":"USD","in_stock":true},{"title":"Black \/ M","offer_id":67600776036537,"sku":"28630758561332100646","price":29.99,"currency_code":"USD","in_stock":true},{"title":"Black Heather \/ M","offer_id":67600776069305,"sku":"27967508342366376287","price":29.99,"currency_code":"USD","in_stock":true},{"title":"Black \/ L","offer_id":67600776102073,"sku":"24295564717926814427","price":29.99,"currency_code":"USD","in_stock":true},{"title":"Black Heather \/ L","offer_id":67600776134841,"sku":"17498036805145925321","price":29.99,"currency_code":"USD","in_stock":true},{"title":"Black \/ XL","offer_id":67600776167609,"sku":"18451654824912833706","price":29.99,"currency_code":"USD","in_stock":true},{"title":"Black Heather \/ XL","offer_id":67600776200377,"sku":"38440869688027026540","price":29.99,"currency_code":"USD","in_stock":true},{"title":"Black \/ 2XL","offer_id":67600776233145,"sku":"32632261318983480856","price":32.99,"currency_code":"USD","in_stock":true},{"title":"Black Heather \/ 2XL","offer_id":67600776265913,"sku":"18596151889195922706","price":32.99,"currency_code":"USD","in_stock":true},{"title":"Black \/ 3XL","offer_id":67600776298681,"sku":"31832512494971132022","price":32.99,"currency_code":"USD","in_stock":true},{"title":"Black Heather \/ 3XL","offer_id":67600776331449,"sku":"16599248014182043382","price":32.99,"currency_code":"USD","in_stock":true}],"thumbnail_url":"\/\/cdn.shopify.com\/s\/files\/1\/0798\/0010\/7193\/files\/BanterWear__raccoon__Black__01-ghost-front_a96d4a08-1eb5-4b19-8479-7df33d4dc63c.jpg?v=1791833763"},{"product_id":"i-was-told-there-would-be-snacks-tee","title":"I Was Told There Would Be Snacks - Funny Raccoon Shirt - Repeat Offender","description":"\u003cp\u003eThe calendar invite said 'light refreshments.' I skipped breakfast on the strength of it and got to Conference Room B four minutes early. There was a pitcher of water and a sleeve of paper cups. Nobody has admitted to typing 'light refreshments,' and nobody has to. A raccoon would have left. I stayed for all 47 minutes, watching the door for a tray that was not coming, and on the way out I took two paper cups, slowly, while the organizer watched me do it.\u003c\/p\u003e\u003ch5\u003eTHE FINE PRINT\u003c\/h5\u003e\u003cp\u003eA photoreal raccoon, head and shoulders, stares straight out from under a heavy brow, whiskers fanned, its face lit against black. \"I was told\" runs across the top in heavy tan block letters. \"there would be\" stacks down the left in thin brush script. \"snacks\", the biggest word, fills the bottom right. Nothing else is in the picture.\u003c\/p\u003e","brand":"WitMonger - Printed \u0026 Shipped From USA","offers":[{"title":"Black \/ S","offer_id":67713532133561,"sku":"14497359274863891410","price":29.99,"currency_code":"USD","in_stock":true},{"title":"Black Heather \/ S","offer_id":67713532166329,"sku":"86878073842975068437","price":29.99,"currency_code":"USD","in_stock":true},{"title":"Black \/ M","offer_id":67713532199097,"sku":"22845562424994340168","price":29.99,"currency_code":"USD","in_stock":true},{"title":"Black Heather \/ M","offer_id":67713532231865,"sku":"18069141969666104144","price":29.99,"currency_code":"USD","in_stock":true},{"title":"Black \/ L","offer_id":67713532264633,"sku":"31593005472210608374","price":29.99,"currency_code":"USD","in_stock":true},{"title":"Black Heather \/ L","offer_id":67713532297401,"sku":"19021594910186387168","price":29.99,"currency_code":"USD","in_stock":true},{"title":"Black \/ XL","offer_id":67713532330169,"sku":"27668098155088534253","price":29.99,"currency_code":"USD","in_stock":true},{"title":"Black Heather \/ XL","offer_id":67713532362937,"sku":"32048712545499313674","price":29.99,"currency_code":"USD","in_stock":true},{"title":"Black \/ 2XL","offer_id":67713532395705,"sku":"24459494312366635250","price":32.99,"currency_code":"USD","in_stock":true},{"title":"Black Heather \/ 2XL","offer_id":67713532428473,"sku":"15045419406545872883","price":32.99,"currency_code":"USD","in_stock":true},{"title":"Black \/ 3XL","offer_id":67713532461241,"sku":"40910461835264423704","price":32.99,"currency_code":"USD","in_stock":true},{"title":"Black Heather \/ 3XL","offer_id":67713532494009,"sku":"30325366293758906932","price":32.99,"currency_code":"USD","in_stock":true}],"thumbnail_url":"\/\/cdn.shopify.com\/s\/files\/1\/0798\/0010\/7193\/files\/BanterWear__snacks-for-black-heather-v2__Black__01-ghost-front.jpg?v=1791941052"},{"product_id":"currently-unsupervised-cat-tee","title":"Currently Unsupervised - Funny Cat Lover Shirt - Repeat Offender","description":"\u003cp\u003eThey said back by eleven. The car left the driveway at 7:58, and by 8:14 the good chair had changed hands. No rules were broken, mostly because nobody wrote any down, which makes it a supervision issue. In my defense, I was left unsupervised, and it was noted at the time. A cat humor shirt for the one handed the spare key with a short pause, who has never been asked to house-sit twice. Incident log: blank. The front door opens at 10:56 and nobody gets up off the couch.\u003c\/p\u003e\u003ch5\u003eTHE FINE PRINT\u003c\/h5\u003e\u003cp\u003eThree cats, one sepia photo. A gray tabby stares half-lidded, cigarette in its mouth, white paw down. A ginger cat loafs on the couch under a lit lamp. A second tabby: eyes shut, mouth open. Full ashtray, glass on its side, spill, playing cards, a bottle. currently unsupervised slopes down the top right.\u003c\/p\u003e","brand":"WitMonger - Printed \u0026 Shipped From USA","offers":[{"title":"Black \/ S","offer_id":67713536229561,"sku":"22532832564727285412","price":29.99,"currency_code":"USD","in_stock":true},{"title":"Black Heather \/ S","offer_id":67713536262329,"sku":"31163475622708703084","price":29.99,"currency_code":"USD","in_stock":true},{"title":"Black \/ M","offer_id":67713536295097,"sku":"15517815141320729289","price":29.99,"currency_code":"USD","in_stock":true},{"title":"Black Heather \/ M","offer_id":67713536327865,"sku":"23287485661880821620","price":29.99,"currency_code":"USD","in_stock":true},{"title":"Black \/ L","offer_id":67713536360633,"sku":"13774254060798614365","price":29.99,"currency_code":"USD","in_stock":true},{"title":"Black Heather \/ L","offer_id":67713536393401,"sku":"31477738241175639645","price":29.99,"currency_code":"USD","in_stock":true},{"title":"Black \/ XL","offer_id":67713536426169,"sku":"20113089172776611735","price":29.99,"currency_code":"USD","in_stock":true},{"title":"Black Heather \/ XL","offer_id":67713536458937,"sku":"32322808586147348768","price":29.99,"currency_code":"USD","in_stock":true},{"title":"Black \/ 2XL","offer_id":67713536491705,"sku":"10007138921232235448","price":32.99,"currency_code":"USD","in_stock":true},{"title":"Black Heather \/ 2XL","offer_id":67713536524473,"sku":"27346577400349951680","price":32.99,"currency_code":"USD","in_stock":true},{"title":"Black \/ 3XL","offer_id":67713536557241,"sku":"20150325419143573646","price":32.99,"currency_code":"USD","in_stock":true},{"title":"Black Heather \/ 3XL","offer_id":67713536590009,"sku":"67921540100891264375","price":32.99,"currency_code":"USD","in_stock":true}],"thumbnail_url":"\/\/cdn.shopify.com\/s\/files\/1\/0798\/0010\/7193\/files\/BanterWear__updated-v2-currently-unsupervised-good-as-is-angled-text-lev__Black__01-ghost-front.jpg?v=1791941246"},{"product_id":"im-fine-resting-face-owl-tee","title":"I'm Fine This is Just My Face - Resting Face Introvert Owl Tee - Repeat Offender","description":"\u003cp\u003eAsked if everything was okay three times before 10:15, the third time by a manager who lowered his voice and closed the door. Everything was okay. The face was doing what it does in a 9am standup, which is nothing. Smiling on purpose was tried once, at a cousin's wedding, and two people asked who had died. This is the funny resting face shirt for the introvert who has run out of ways to say \"just thinking\" and would rather the chest field the follow-up questions. Official status: fine. Then one slow nod, and back to the spreadsheet.\u003c\/p\u003e\u003ch5\u003eTHE FINE PRINT\u003c\/h5\u003e\u003cp\u003eOne owl, head and upper chest, cut off flat. Two ear tufts angled out. A brow slopes down to a V over a short gray beak, half covering two amber eyes, the only color on the print. Fine-line feathers in gray and cream. I'M FINE arches above in distressed cream capitals; this is just my face below, lowercase.\u003c\/p\u003e","brand":"WitMonger - Printed \u0026 Shipped From USA","offers":[{"title":"Black Heather \/ S","offer_id":67746920202425,"sku":"12369768811418668360","price":29.99,"currency_code":"USD","in_stock":true},{"title":"Black Heather \/ M","offer_id":67746920235193,"sku":"10121463097350513572","price":29.99,"currency_code":"USD","in_stock":true},{"title":"Black Heather \/ L","offer_id":67746920267961,"sku":"21135153326462881902","price":29.99,"currency_code":"USD","in_stock":true},{"title":"Black Heather \/ XL","offer_id":67746920300729,"sku":"16975130254755794208","price":29.99,"currency_code":"USD","in_stock":true},{"title":"Black Heather \/ 2XL","offer_id":67746920333497,"sku":"32194582862318745242","price":32.99,"currency_code":"USD","in_stock":true},{"title":"Black Heather \/ 3XL","offer_id":67746920366265,"sku":"25498263050782656154","price":32.99,"currency_code":"USD","in_stock":true}],"thumbnail_url":"\/\/cdn.shopify.com\/s\/files\/1\/0798\/0010\/7193\/files\/BanterWear__im-fine-for-heather-black-center-align__Black-Heather__01-ghost-front.jpg?v=1792179025"},{"product_id":"awkward-humor-came-saw-made-weird-tee","title":"I Came I Saw, I Made It Weird - Awkward Humor Introvert Platypus Tee - Repeat Offender","description":"\u003cp\u003eThe elevator small talk reached mortality by the fourth floor. Also on the record: the toast that mentioned the ex, and the handshake that turned into a hug halfway through. Coworkers read the shirt, look up, and nod slowly. Nobody asks what it means. They ask which time. Worn by the introvert who says nothing for forty minutes, then says the one thing, then explains it all the way to the car. The platypus has been doing this to rooms since 1799, when the naturalist who first described one took scissors to the skin looking for stitches. The hug ran four seconds long.\u003c\/p\u003e\u003ch5\u003eTHE FINE PRINT\u003c\/h5\u003e\u003cp\u003eA baby platypus in black and amber fur lounges on its side, belly out, eyes on the viewer. One front foot rests on its belly, one hind foot is up, webbing fanned, and the other two stay planted. Above, i came  i saw tilts uphill; below, i made it weird runs straight across, in the same distressed amber lowercase.\u003c\/p\u003e","brand":"WitMonger - Printed \u0026 Shipped From USA","offers":[{"title":"Black \/ S","offer_id":67746926362809,"sku":"19455962581241377216","price":29.99,"currency_code":"USD","in_stock":true},{"title":"Black \/ M","offer_id":67746926395577,"sku":"16391816525020496222","price":29.99,"currency_code":"USD","in_stock":true},{"title":"Black \/ L","offer_id":67746926428345,"sku":"10105462225857908451","price":29.99,"currency_code":"USD","in_stock":true},{"title":"Black \/ XL","offer_id":67746926461113,"sku":"27016223541188499603","price":29.99,"currency_code":"USD","in_stock":true},{"title":"Black \/ 2XL","offer_id":67746926493881,"sku":"30004716177201477463","price":32.99,"currency_code":"USD","in_stock":true},{"title":"Black \/ 3XL","offer_id":67746926526649,"sku":"11338925566581205179","price":32.99,"currency_code":"USD","in_stock":true}],"thumbnail_url":"\/\/cdn.shopify.com\/s\/files\/1\/0798\/0010\/7193\/files\/BanterWear__i-came-i-saw-v3__Black__01-ghost-front.jpg?v=1792179267"}],"url":"https:\/\/witmonger.com\/collections\/repeat-offender.oembed","provider":"WitMonger","version":"1.0","type":"link"}